Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Mensquito Magnet

My family has always joked with me that I have really sweet, sugary blood... because I tend to attract mosquitos from MILES away to come and nibble, suck, splurge and otherwise binge on the goodness that is, well, me. They appreciate it - means less itching and scratching for them. I've loathed this quality for as long as I can remember! 

For some weird reason, I seem to have the same effect on creepy, weird and awkward men! Case in point - Jumpsuit Dude (JD). I stopped in Watertown for a bite to eat and pulled into the wrong drive for the little supermarket. I parked towards the back of the one lot and walked down the little hill to where the supermarket was - attracting the attention of JD, who commented "Don't go breaking your ankle there, miss." --- um, sure? He holds the door open for me and disappears towards the back. I do my usual "what-the-hell-can-i-eat-in-here-this-food-is-gross-and-not-going-to-buy-it" routine, landing on a Noni Berry (metabolism) drink and some grapes and banana chips. Shhh, it's lunch to me! ANYWAYS... while walking around the store, JD is in line placing his order and tells the lady behind the counter "I'll take that girl in green as well," then winks at me! I tell him "I'm not for sale!" and he's all "That's okay, I was planning to just TAKE you anyway!" 

As if things could get more awkward... I am seized with a case of clumsies and drop the container of grapes all over the floor. A clerk comes out to help me clean up (and doesn't charge me for it either - nice!), making the comment "No problem, miss, I'd rather turn those into wine anyway." JD is behind me now... telling me to be careful and to not let things get away from me, that he wouldn't get away from me. 

CREEPY. Seriously... talk about disgusting. JD is this older man, overweight and wearing this navy blue jumpsuit. His hair was balding... his face has the nice wrinkles of a man who laughs a lot, but EWW creepy! I'm sorry.. but in WHAT universe is it okay to tell a woman that you will "take her anyway" - and talk about how you'd toss her in your refrigerator truck and no one would notice! 

I am SO sick of attracting these persons to my personal space. I do NOT want it. I do NOT want to attract any such attention. What will it take for me to just... be a person in the store, not some object to ogle or to attempt to purchase with flattery or idiotic musings? I'm so sick of this shit. It doesn't help the more disordered parts of my mind... I don't feel safe in this world as it is, let alone when genuine creepy people (cue JD's slimy grin to flash on your screen) take an interest in me!!!

1 comment:

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