No forecaster could predict the whirlwind that has become my life. After spending the summer attempting to rid myself of my oldest demon, I find myself once again staring down the dwindling reflection in the mirror. I spoke with my team from the summer and have been approved to start Day again on December 15th. Yup, that's right everyone, I'm going back to the land of Jason's Deli and Black Truck Guy. This means in the next THREE weeks, I will need to accomplish the following:
- Trip to Philadelphia for Thanksgiving
- Lake George meet-up with friends
- Last volunteer meeting of the year = party
- Auditions for The Vagina Monologues (I'm casting)
- Three productions of It's Sad, So Sad, When An Elf Goes Bad
- Write the semi-annual report for the grant
- Terminate with my team up here
- Get my doctor to fill out the appropriate paperwork
- Find a place to stay in TN
- Arrange a medical leave from work
- Find a vet with sleeping pills for my cats
- DRIVE down to Nashville, TN
There's more to that list... but yeah, exhausting! Oh, and it'd probably be wise to stop some of the mayhem that is my life... but yeah, that's why I'm going back, right?!?!? I feel like a pick-up truck with it's tires spinning in the mud, going no where fast. There's so much to do and so little time to do it in.
The funny part? My Fruity suggested I "relax and try to eat regularly" --- umm... let's be real here. Anxiety = not eating; stress = not eating; disorder = not eating; mayhem = not eating... I can agree to regularly not eat... other than that, I'm not sure what's going to happen!
I am trying so hard to just let go and give this over to the universe. I have to trust that it will be okay... but I'm a planner of planners. It's not like me to make impulsive decisions, and since a week ago I was keeping mum about the whole struggling thing... THIS is a radical change in a very short period of time. I really hope I'm doing the right thing!!!