Really? Hrumph!

Seriously? The ONE thing I wanted to do today was spend some nice, quiet time at the pool. Lay out, get some sun, cool off in the water. I'm having a shit day after a shit yesterday and it was what I told myself I could do for self care. I don't like laying out in the summer heat without access to a pool - I overheat. I also feel awkward laying out on my balcony with folks coming and going below. 

I got all greased up AT the pool. It was quiet... private pool in the mornings as most folks are at work and kids are in camps. Until this one person comes out... then next thing I know... management is out there. Apparently the pool got trashed on Tuesday night and they are shock cleaning it, whatever that means. I wasn't even allowed to just lay out there... pool closed, fine, but why can't I sit out on the deck?? It's a private place. It's closed a week. Bullshit. It was open Tuesday (she had originally said Sunday) and it's opening tomorrow. 

I'm... pissed off and frustrated. Okay, so something happened. 1) Get your story straight. 2) Put up a fucking sign. 3) Why the hell can't the DECK stay open despite closed pool? I'm 25 fucking years old, I think I can stay out of the water. 4) Put up a fucking sign. 5) Don't apologize when you don't mean it. 

So much for my goal of making this a better day. I don't ask for much (do I?) and that was all I wanted. Fuck it. Just... fuck it. Now I'm all greasy too and need another shower. Fuck this. JUst.... fuck it. Know what else is annoying??? I'm so angry I'm in tears. I HATE that. I never look mad with tears streaming down my face... what is UP with that?