Yesterday was one of those gray days at the beach that starts out with folks wondering if the sun will ever come out again, then ended in one of the most beautiful afternoon's we've had in a long, long time. The parents and I went for a shorter (3 miles) walk on the beach and then gathered up a few other troopers for a small shopping expedition in the village where we are staying. Lunch was a variety of leftovers... then getting ready for the afternoon of water fun.

There is a Low out over the ocean - a GREAT thing for those that love to play in the surf. My father, uncle, brother and I are true ocean-dwellers. The waves were around 4-7 feet high... plenty to splash around in. Not good boogie-board waves as the tops were too "weak" to carry you to shore... but great fun all the same. We splashed around for quite some time... before laying out in the sun to dry out.

My mother and I took some pictures in the dunes while we had the brilliant afternoon sunlight to work with. It's great... because not only can I use some of these pictures for my photography exhibits, but I can get some good ones with me IN them!! :)

Today we're off to Ocracoke, an island South of this one. My cousin heads home as well, which will be sad. It's been way too long since I've seen her. She lives in GA... so we're hoping to get together more often now that I'm only 4-5 hours away. More to come later... happy reading!

Heavenly Landscapes

First day at the beach is going quite well. The morning was RADIANT... bright sunshine after a night of thunderstorms. The feeling of sand freshly rained on is just... amazing. It adds a level of firmness to the sand that makes it easier to walk and more massage-like on the foot. As mentioned, the cottage is right by the ocean. There is a private walkway to the beach in front of our house... so these dunes are the ones that I walk by to get to the ocean.

The ocean in front of the cottage has a very narrow beach... and it is very unpopulated here. We are the last cottage in the little village... so that makes it extra private. We are the only family out so early (9am) and take the 2.1 mile walk to the pier while others start to meander their ways to the shore. We don't always walk to the pier... but it's become a tradition to touch the pier on the first day. My cousin and I were the first ones there today. :)

Michael, Rachael and Beth ran back to the blankets while I walked at my own pace... leaving the "older adults" to catch up. We went swimming and played catch after this... bobbing up and down in the surf. The water is so warm this year! It's crystal clear out there, at least for the Atlantic, without much seaweed getting in the way. After some splashing around, we take time to dry out on the towels... collecting rays of sunshine and transforming them into tans.

Lunch was bbq pork... WOW was that good! It puts Jason's Deli to shame, that's for sure! My father has a cooker thing that just... wow. The pork was put on last night and smoked all night long. He makes homemade bbq sauces as well, one based in vinegar and one based with red sauce. It's like... an orgasm for the taste buds. Apparently it's good mixed with coleslaw, but as I'm not a big fan of cabbage, I let the others experiment with that combination. Me? I stick to my pork sandwich and side salad. Nice cup of coffee for dessert. It's only my second cup of the day!

All right.. we're almost ready to head out for our afternoon adventures. Driving to the end tip of the island and going to the point... where the island is like an elbow and you can be where the two sides of the Atlantic literally come to a POINT. It's quite awesome. More pictures and more blogging to come! :)

Finally Here!

After 9 hours in the car (with an hour to eat at the pier) we finally arrived at the cottage - ONE - in Avon, NC. The trip was uneventful... sponsored by coffee and various mix cds from yours truly. We always stop at this lovely place called Grandy's for fresh fruits and veggies... this year was no exception. I was shocked to discover the cottage has wireless internet readily available... so YAY for that.

It has been TOO LONG since I've been at the beach. So, I did the only logical thing possible. Started taking pictures ASAP! This is a quick picture I snapped (and jumped into) from the top deck of the house. As you can see... we are RIGHT at the ocean. The area is undeveloped (which is a BEAUTIFUL thing)... and we are on a spit of land less than 1/4 mile wide. Please excuse the silly face... I told you... lots of coffee + long, long car ride.

Let's see. What else? Oh yes... this is the main room upstairs. It is a joint living room, dining room and kitchen. The deck that I'm standing on is what the sliding doors opens out onto... The stairs lead up to this amazing little tower with two couch-benches you can sit in - great for journaling or cozing up with a book and cup of coffee. For those that I've talked to about watching storms come in over the Ocean... that's where we go. :)

Okay... time for us to start putting together dinner. We're waiting for one more family member to arrive - my cousin Beth, who I haven't seen in years! There's 8 of us now... she'll make 9. I think dinner tonight is a bunch of salads that my mother made during the week and we brought with us. Sounds good to me... there are few salads I've met that I didn't like. We'll be off for a walk along the beach later on tonight... I'm just itching to get my feet in the sand and to feel the ocean between my toes.

Off to the Beach!

Finally, after 2 years, I'm off to the Outer Banks of NC in about 20 minutes... heading South with my family. We leave quite early... as is tradition... so we can have lunch on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge at the Seagull Pier Restaurant. We pass the bike cops in DE. We pass through the Land of Corn where my brother would usually fall sound asleep. We wave hello to Virginia Beach as continue southwards. We meet up with my brother, sister-in-law and her parents around the North Carolina area.... meeting at the Grandy's fresh market on the side of the road... which as the BEST fresh fruit in the county. We stop at Nags Head to put our feet in the sand and to relieve our bladders... "bio break" as a friend would say. Then we journey another hour and a half once on the island to the little tiny town of Avon.

From there... we'll all unload the various cars... very much in donkey-style. All able-bodied people go up and down the steps as many times as needed. Not so bad now that the family has expanded... but my brother and I used to worry about this process. My parents' believe they had worker bees, not just children. :P Then... it's figuring out if we want to go for a walk on the beach BEFORE or AFTER dinner, or the obvious answer, BOTH. :)

I'll take tons of pictures and try to chronicle while I'm away. Not sure if I'll have internet... so will make posts and then upload them later if that's the case. This is heaven on Earth... captured in the bucolic scenes of the National Seashore. It is my favorite place on this planet... and it will be my home for the next 7 days.

I'll talk to you on the flip side... having quelled my appetite for the beach for a little while. Or... at least satiated the urges to keep driving until I hit the shoreline.

A fantastic invention

I've discovered a pet peeve. Blinkers. Or, more explicitly, the seemingly universal MISUSE of them. And by misuse... I mean NON-use of them.

Seriously people. Is it THAT difficult to extend your left arm out, move the hand away from the wheel, wrap the fingers around that piece of plastic jutting from behind the steering column and push it ever so slightly up or down? Left or Right. Not too many choices. If you can't make up your mind, then GET OFF THE ROAD. It's common courtesy to other drivers to let them know where you are going when you are responsible for a heap of metal whipping down the road at extreme speeds. Not going too fast? You STILL need to use those little blinking lights.

Some tell me they hate the noise. Really? Click click click fucking click! It's not that bad. Turn up the radio. Or... go talk to a therapist. Because that's ridiculous!

Not only does it bother me when people change lanes on the highway without using these little indicator lights... but it also REALLY frustrates me in parking lots. People that don't put on blinkers before turning into a spot. See, blinkers are like the seagulls in Finding Nemo... they declare "Mine! Mine! Mine!" for a potential parking spot. Even more... they alert the people behind them that you are STOPPING, especially when people have a nasty habit of pulling into parking spaces without turning on the brakes. It's awful when you are doing the good-driver thing, leaving enough space between you and the car in front of you, going along at a snail's pace... and BAM! The person veers off into the spot you thought you would occupy without even TELLING you. It's disappointment magnified, just like that!

Then there are the people that OVER use the blinker. You know you've done it once or twice... and you PISS ME OFF. The people who leave the blinker blinking away AFTER switching lanes. The other day... someone had their RIGHT blinker on and kept merging LEFT. Okay... what the hell? Look at your hands. If the index finger and thumb make a "L" - that means Left. If it looks more like a J... that's Right. So sorry that No Child Left Behind failed you out of Kindergarden... but maybe you ought to consider taking the bus. Then... for those that just drive and drive and drive with the blinking lights going... it drives me NUTS! Are you turning? Are you lost? Is it a flasher that says "I'm in trouble" and a burnt out second flash light??

If you listen to the radio that loud you cannot HEAR the clicking... turn it down. Save an eardrum, save a tree, whatever gets you off... I don't really care. Just... stop the incessant blink blink blink blink blink that I have to stare at driving behind you (again, at that respectful distance).

Now... some of you might be wondering. Does Kayti have road rage? No, not really. I prefer the term road conversation. It really doesn't hurt anyone for me to talk angrily at the cars that share the road with me (as long as the windows are down, even that top sunroof... oops). I'm not going to go crazy-Mary on you or anything... but I will consider smiting you for the 10 seconds our worlds overlap. Or sending you to Blinker Use 101. By the time I'm done with this world, I'll have a whole University of "re-education" classes that I want to send people to.

So... moral of the story? Think twice before you abuse your blinker. There might me a recently relocated New Yorker nearby.

Spick Spack Spaghetti

Tonight was one of those "radical revelation" nights. I was standing in my kitchen, not wanting to eat anything for dinner. I stood by the fridge with the door open... staring inside at the bare contents (about to leave town for a week = minimal groceries in the house). I opened the freezer and was staring down frozen dinners and mysterious items (some of which have been in there since my move from NY!). Nothing sounded good. Nothing sounded appealing. I moved to the pantry... same dilemma. With a sigh, I said (out loud) "I don't want anything... processed" - and it just clicked into place.

I eat out a fair amount... I got lazy living by myself and relied too heavily on frozen dinners and quick fixes. I forgot that I come from a family of people that know how to cook and bake and do the food thing really REALLY well. It got too easy to eat the same things again and again - the easy things - the not-messing-up-too-many-dishes things. Yeah, BORING!

So I made an absolutely fantastic spaghetti tonight. Not according to the family recipe. Not according to things I've eaten before. Not according to Renfrew suggestions for the meal. But according to ME. And you know what? It was pretty frickin' fantastic. The secret? I listened to what I wanted... tomato base... mushrooms... turnip greens (was lacking fresh or frozen spinach)... that was the sauce. Spiced to taste... on top of a bowl of whole wheat thin spaghetti noodles. Heavy dose of parmesan-romano cheese... with said cheese also mixed into the sauce. Now THAT is how you make spaghetti! Correction... that is how I make it.

You may be wondering... is this really blog-worthy? HELL YES! I haven't cooked pasta like that in a year. I've ordered it... I've eaten it because I had to... I've made processed pasta (ramen noodles, mac n cheese, etc.) but not the REAL DEAL. Oh wow... hello taste buds, how you doin? I have a dish washer in the apartment... AND a garbage disposal. It's time to start using them. I mean... it's pretty pathetic when you couldn't recall if the certain eye on the stove even worked... or when you have to dust your pots and pans before cooking with them. I'm not really lazy... and you know what? The whole bit where "it's not worth cooking for one" - bullshit! It sure is! Not only does it give me more variety and better tasting meals, but it also prepares me for entertaining others.

This is just one of my "radical revelations" tonight. I'm not just turning over a new leaf, I think I just planted a whole new tree. It includes letting go of certain things... realizing that not everything is as useful as it seems... and that sometimes? Listening to gut instincts about what is right is the most important thing you can do. Things haven't felt "right" for a while... and I'm finally starting to realize why. Changes are afoot... all for the better. Even if my process goes against the advice of others... I know it will work... because it's the process that feels right for me.

Also... had two job interviews in two days... applications in for more positions and a real shot at a fantastic job opportunity. These are all things that encourage this "change is afoot" mentality... and remind me of the importance of focusing on the FUTURE instead of mucking up the PRESENT being stuck in the PAST.

Watch out world... Kayti's back, armed with marinara and tiny strands of whole wheat yumminess.

Request to the Antioch Arachnids

I have come a long, long way in my arachnophobia. I no longer freak out when I see the spiders outside... nor do I mind too terribly much when I walk into one in another person's space. I've gotten to the point where I can calmly ask someone to get the spider off of me or to remove it from the room - not the automatic EEEEEEEEEEEKKKK KILLLLLL IIIITTTTTT! that used to come out at the same moment I would be flying out of the room in barely-human leaps and bounds.

The Renaissance Faire did a lot for me that way. When you are playing the part of a tree faerie, you do a LOT of lying around in leaves, rocks, trees and stone walls. Guess who else adores these habitats? Yup, spiders. They liked to chill out in our tent back stage as well... and I even got to the point of still going to the water cooler despite several just chillin' right there by the spicket. They were in the port-o-potties and I still used them... serious progress.

But seriously? This morning? I'm going to have to draw the line. I woke up with the kitties wanting food... so I fed them around 6:30 in the morning. This is okay for normal rise-and-shine during the week, but not on weekends. So... I figured I'd just go to the bathroom (because once you are awake and realize you need to pee, there is NO going back to sleep without using the lavatory) and head back to bed. I'm in my bathroom, minding my own business... about to reach for the toilet paper to finish my needs... and there's a spider just sitting right there. What the hell?? Sneaky little bastard was just ASKING for me to smack him silly. After the initial shock to my dreary system and the comprehension that my toilet paper wasn't moving, but the spider on it was... I realized I needed to have some words with the local arachnid population.

STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE.

You'd think having two cats would be deterrent enough. Apparently not. Now, it's not a declaration of war, because I do NOT fancy the idea of a spider invasion... I think my heart would stop beating entirely at the sight. But I am saying this. To the local spiders... STAY OUT. You can have the outdoor world... you can even have the fireplace itself... WHY do you need to be in my few rooms and, especially, on MY toilet paper! That's just... not necessary.

What happened to that TP Spider? Well... it got smushed by a dirty kleenex. Usually I just use the TP... but he was in the way. So... I had to make do with what I had. I did flush him just for shits and giggles... and as a warning to others to STAY AWAY FROM THE TOILET PAPER.

I mean... seriously. Seriously!!!

Rest In Peace Aunt Ginnie

Wow... things sure can change quickly. Just talked to my mother. Apparently one of my aunts on the Greek side of the family developed lung cancer just two weeks ago. Okay, she was diagnosed... it was probably a long time in coming as she was a lifetime smoker. Anyway... I just got off the phone with my mother. Aunt Ginnie died today. She was only 73 years old.

I'm not really sure what to think. We weren't particularly close, but she was one of my favorites of the Greek get-togethers. I'm very thankful I was home for Christmas and seeing everyone this December. Very grateful that I have a happy memory of her... with her green salad that she always brings and her wrinkly smile. I feel for her two grandchildren... they just lost their "yia-yia" the Greek word for Grandma. Ginne was always fun. She treated my brother and me like equals... she would sit on the floor with us when there weren't enough chairs to go around. She was the nonGreek that married into the family - something we appreciated, being only 50% Greek ourselves. She had a brilliant laugh and a golden heart.

It's Greek tradition to wait 40 days to have a memorial service. I don't know why... but that's what the family does. I'm not sure if I'll be able to afford the ticket up to go... but hopefully I can at least leave something for the service when I'm in the area next week before the beach trip. That side of the family has had a rough time... 4 sons, 2 of them have already passed, 2 are remaining. Her husband is the second child of three... they were the nephews and nieces of my "Papou" or Grandpa. Our families have gotten together for as long as I can remember... the cousins... or, as I call them, "the Greeks."

Life is so fragile... that's for sure. It gives me a lot to think about. I sit here, still in the coffee shop, still unemployed. Just... thinking. She had a bad cough, but that was it. Two weeks later, she was dead. How much of my life have I wasted stuck in my head or trying to change the very core of who I am? How many days have I let slip by in my own selfish stickiness... when really? Every damn day is a gift. We don't know when we are destined to leave this world. We don't know when the hour might be our last.

So, my dearest Aunt Ginnie, you have my heart and my soul wishing you the best right now. Wishing you peace and tranquility. Wishing you healing from the pains you have suffered. Wishing you safe journey as you reunite with your sons. Wishing you the happiness that life ceased to provide for you. Wishing you love from those already gone and those still in this world.

And for me? I think it's time to stop wallowing in myself and to face the remaining demons that need facing. Life really is a fragile, precious gift. I'm not going to waste it any more. This world is such an incredible, beautiful place. There just isn't time to waste any more. I'm 25 years old. How do I know I'll live to be old? I can only hope to be so lucky! Now is the time to be thriving... enjoying my "youth" and my energy and all that. Not wasting away in various issues... obsessively worrying about the meaning of life and my purpose here... so enough. I'm done whining about being unemployed. I'm done poopooing my dreams. I'm done saying "another day" - what about THIS day?

Hmm. I think I just found motivation. Because honestly? There is so much in life that I want to do. So much that Ginnie would have wanted to do. So very much. With people that may not be around forever. With opportunities that may not knock again. With so much. I want to love and be loved. I want to be free. So if I have to face my dying day, I go with peace of spirit, heart, body and mind.

Nero Nostalgia

I'm doing one of my favorite things right now... sipping on something strongly caffeinated while cruising around the internet at a locally owned coffeehouse. I've kicked off my brown flip flops and am sitting cross-legged in my super-soft brown kapri sweats and fun top. Soft music playing in the background... and random people online. There is something that makes me smile through and through when I get "real emails" from people, not just spam. It's just like when you open the mailbox and there's a handwritten note (typed works too) from someone mixed in there with all the bills and obnoxious catalogs.

As I sit here surfing the net for job opportunities and writing back to various people in my life... I was struck with a random moment of nostalgia for Cafe Nero. For those that have never been to Europe, it's one of the BEST coffeehouses in the world. It also had an internet cafe attached to it and was right next to the hotel where I stayed as a sophomore Vanderbilt student during my Maymester abroad. It had the BEST coffee (italian, I believe) that you could alternate with original Orangina... a truly divine substance that redefines orange juice for the massive win.

Seriously... if I had the money to do so (or a financial backer willing to front the cost) - I would love to create a Coffeehouses of the World travel guide/book. I'd love to spend a month in various countries and give a written description of the coffeehouses there. I'd spend several days in the coffeehouses... sampling the various blends... taking notes on the people that go... the ambiance created... whether or not wine/beer is served... whether or not food is served... and how the local population reacts to the coffeehouse. I'd want to capture as many different places as possible... finding the unique places to each little area of the world. Not the S'Bucks or Dunkin' Donuts of the world... but the universal equivalents to Cafe Coco and Fido. I want to see what makes a good coffeehouse separate from the bad... I want to find out the world's opinion on the best way to take your coffee. And what the average amount of time in a coffeehouse really is.

I think it'd be awesome! Not to mention... I could LIVE off coffee for a very, very long time. And coffeehouse food... which is perfect in my world. I mean... have you TRIED the pumpkin chocolate chip muffins at Fido and Bongo Java? Or sampled the hummus platter at Cafe Coco? Think of all the syrups... all the combinations... the various teas that get mixed in. It's heaven in a mouthful.

Seriously... someone should win the lottery and front this cost. And traveling around the world? That would be AWESOME. Just me and my laptop. And my camera, of course. It could be a photo-journalism project as well. I could create a world coffeehouse book for, what else, coffee tables! I could get pictures of baristas from everywhere... signatures from random people and patrons... would keep the napkins from everywhere and do a collage-page just of that. Then you add in the chocolate that you can find... WOW. I think it'd be awesome. I'd love to do it...

... oh wait, brings me back to what I SHOULD be doing right now. Applying for jobs and finding a source of meaningful income/employment... not daydreaming about things that cost way more than I can afford. Ah well. Maybe another day. Maybe another day.

Back, my popular demand

(And by popular, I mean that at least one person in the last 48 hours has said to me "Kayti! Update your blog!!!" Here I was thinking that I was chattering away to myself!!

What shall we rant about today? OH! I know. See... body image issues have long been a passion of mine. So much so that I wanted to go off and get a PhD to be paid to research and rant about them all the rest of my days. Well, the whole economic crisis that left universities with no money and the me not getting in anywhere stunted that ambition... for now... but that doesn't stop the ranting and raving. Oh no... it just makes it come out in forms of blogging and random conversations, sometimes with others, sometimes with the cat, sometimes at random cars driving by.

I just spent an hour by the pool... let's not even GO there on how that can complicate body image... and finished reading the latest edition of Marie Claire. Okay, I know that these magazines are going to piss me off in one form or fashion... but I did not anticipate this particular manifestation of cultural crappiness. I can take apart the skinny jeans and the models and the liquor bottles shaped like the female body. I can dissect the images that portray violence against women as a tool for selling handbags and high heels. I can shake my head at the eccentric fashion guidelines that have taken misery to the next level (I mean seriously, have you SEEN the shoes they want us to buy for the Fall? FOR REAL!)

Then, on the LAST page... there's an ad for the new emerald-green 4x9 inch Sony VAIO notebook... a COMPUTER... that says "Make your MacBook Air feel old and fat." WHAT THE HELL?????

My first impulse? Rip out this page and send it to a friend and therapist, Elyse, who happens to be the resident guru for body image at Renfrew. Second impulse? Scream and shout. Third impulse? Write a ranting raving bitching post on my blog. Guess which ones I did?

I mean... seriously?!?!? It's a fucking computer! It doesn't have to worry about body image or size or anything. And why should it? Why not have a comparison about megabytes or pixels... or just bash the PC vs. Mac thing again and again. You could talk about internet safety and high-speed access. WHY does the ad have to "go there" with size and age and weight? First of all... the whole Macbook Air thing as being the "thin" computer - really? What's up with that? And then to go even SMALLER? What the hell? What is this culture trying to do... institutionalize anorexia so that even our electronics have complexes and avoid mirrors?

It seriously pisses me off. Secondly... why would ANYONE want to make something that is already perfectly fine feel "old and fat" - that's just mean. Thirdly... and this is going into my rhetorical theories... WHY do we insist on making "old" and "fat" dirty, bad words?? Seriously... there is NOTHING wrong with either of those words. Old is a state of aging... if we cease aging, we cease living. I'd rather be old than dead. So what is so wrong with being old?? And fat? Okay... I struggle with this still... but really, at the end of the day, it's a food group. It's NOT about body size or cells or anything else. That... and to insinuate that a MacBook Air is FAT... it has AIR in its name... what is fat about air? NOTHING. Ads like these just perpetuate the ideas that fat = bad and aging = bad. When really? Having fat is part of LIVING. It's part of being a normal human being capable of living and breathing and jumping and remembering and all those fun things that come with being alive.

ARGH.

Maybe I'm just ranting. Maybe I'm over-sensitive. But really? Really? They had to go and make something about ELECTRONICS into an issue of fat vs. thin and old vs. young? What the hell is wrong with us? What's next... pillar candles are going to be sold as "fat" or "thin" - you can't have any curves in your house... not even in your candles. Or electronics. Watch out for the wine glasses... they're going to get straighter and straighter until they resemble shot glasses... but wait... being short isn't good either... so they'll be the tall shooters. Maybe we should get rid of bowls as well... can't have those rogue curves lying around the kitchen. Plates are flat. But stick with the breakfast plates because they are smaller and clearly, the dinner plates could go on a diet, shave off an inch or two around the edges.

I'll stop. For now.